Doki ([info]backwardschaos) wrote,
@ 2007-06-23 11:26:00
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Wow. Just, wow.

You guys are obviously *way* more mature than me. :)

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[info]ghost90
2007-06-23 08:29 pm UTC (link)
OK I have tried to stay quiet and neutral for most of this, but I just really needed to say this. You constantly talk about how mature you are, yet your actions never show maturity. It takes a lot more then walking around claiming you're mature to actually be mature. Repeating something doesn't make it true, it just makes the word or phrase annoying as hell.

Furthermore, you keep saying how you want this topic to be dropped. All anyone really wants from you is an apology. You know full well that you fucked with all of us, all we want is that you own up to your actions, which by the way, would be the mature thing to do, and actually apologize.

As Stina said earlier on Live Journal, because that seems to be the only way any of us are communicating, we were all friends at one point, meaning we all cared about you at one point. And you know, most people want to still care about you, they're just hurt that you betrayed their trust and wronged them. I know you've dealt with a lot of shit lately but so have the rest of us.

If you truly want to lay this to rest, and I'm sure you do since we've just been beating a dead horse, for lack of better terms, just apologize. That'll put an end to all of it because that's all that anyone really wants. The lack of apology is the unresolved issue; the reason no one wants to let this topic drop.

As I said, I've been trying to not say anything regarding this, but this is something that everyone has been saying to each other, but not to you, and you're the one who needs to have heard this, not everyone else. Meaghan, Stina, me, etc, we've all known that's what we wanted from you, you may have not, yet no one ever said it. So here it is, that's all we want and I'm sure that's what will finally make this topic disappear.

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[info]hydy
2007-06-23 11:06 pm UTC (link)
Speaking in general terms, if you think a simple apology can end a situation like this, you're wrong. The more this builds up, the more it becomes a power issue. Right now, the apology would affirm your righteousness, and thereby making you the winner. If there's a power struggle involved, the friendship could never be reestablished on level ground. Only a spineless, pathetic individual would want to establish good terms with her friends by sacrificing her own integrity.

Even if Dara is forgiven, or something like that, no one involved would really be able to forget "that one time she made us mad, and we punished her until she apologized." That's not a real friendship, it's like conquering someone.

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[info]ghost90
2007-06-23 11:15 pm UTC (link)
I'm not saying it will make things all better. There probably isn't anything that'll make everyone all happy and love each other again and be the best of friends. I'm saying that an apology and admission of doing something wrong will make everyone stop talking about it.

Also, for people such as Stina and Meaghan, the issue we've been discussing isn't the absolute only thing that has bothered them in all the years of their friendship, but that's the one that they want an apology for. The friendships that have been ruined are definetely not salvageable, but an apology would most likely take the animosity away and lay the specific issue to rest.

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[info]hydy
2007-06-23 11:18 pm UTC (link)
Do you think it's worth it? Saying sorry just to make other people happy? No one in their right mind would cater to other people's pride by saying something like that, especially if they don't mean it.

If Stina and Meaghan were in pain for those years they were with Dara, they should've said so 6 years ago and stopped spending tim with her. And since the friendship is really not salvagable, they should just ignore Dara and stop demanding for something that's not really theirs to ask for.

An apology is freely given, not forcibly produced.

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[info]cardxiv
2007-06-24 01:18 am UTC (link)
You're right. If she just said that she was sorry to shut us up (Which she wouldn't do. I know Dara, and she won't appologize unless she means it.) it would be meaningless. I'd like an appology knowing that she knows that she means it or none at all. You're 100% right here.

As far as the second portion of this goes - I tried to bring clairty to this whole awkward situation in the latest comment to her other entry on the subject. I DID mention a few times that her actions hurt my feelings and there was no positive outcome. I demanded basically nothing and accepted her the way that she was because she was my best friend and I was willing to put up with it for the sake of a friendship.



A big part of me wants to stop talking about this all together, but as more comments pop up with more questions I feel like I should answer them and shed some light onto my side of this whole messy situation. I really don't want this ordeal between Dara and myself to ruin the friendship that you and I have though. :(

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[info]hydy
2007-06-24 01:25 am UTC (link)
I admit that the way this situation is being dealt with disappoints me. But we have no quarrell.

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[info]cardxiv
2007-06-24 01:55 am UTC (link)
It's a shitty way for this all to finally come to a conclusion - but it had to eventually. Neither party is correct, but atleast everybody who was involved and wanted to put in their two cence seems to have.

In responce to your other comment, yes I suppose it has. It's unfortunate. I'll always remember the good times a cherised memories and I don't regret our friendship at all - but since it's come down to this I suppose it was ment to be. I really do hope that we both go on to be happy and sucessful... just seperate.

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[info]chibichibineko
2007-07-28 07:16 pm UTC (link)
yoo. it's kathleen. i dont know if this friends only? im gonna add you to my lj.

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[info]backwardschaos
2007-07-28 07:36 pm UTC (link)
Oh yeah it is. I'll add you.

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[info]jellybean203
2007-08-23 06:58 pm UTC (link)
Hi, I was the person who asked for the alternate version of Emergency? If it's not too much trouble, could you upload it for me please?

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[info]backwardschaos
2007-08-23 07:22 pm UTC (link)
haha omg and you had to see all my drama and shiat.

Sorry about that!

I can send it to you via aim? :)

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[info]jellybean203
2007-08-23 07:28 pm UTC (link)
lol i was like 'wow. that's a long comment.'
no problem tho.
and sure, my sn is medicatedxlives.

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